Trust Is Not Won and Done By Dr. Rob McKenna

Trust is Built and Rebuilt

Healthy leaders in healthy organizations with high trust don’t say, “We’re healthy.” They ask, “Are we healthy?”

That question is more than semantics. It’s a posture of humility — the willingness to admit that trust is never complete, that health is never permanent, and that leadership is always under construction.

Ask any great musician if they are a master of their craft, and most will say no. They’ll talk about what they’re still learning, what they haven’t mastered, and where they’ve failed. The best leaders live the same way. They don’t arrive at health, performance, and trust and declare, “We’ve made it.” They keep asking the hard questions.

Insights on Trust

Trust is like clay — it must be worked and reworked, shaped with humility, and remade when it cracks. Breaks in trust don’t make us shameful; they make us human. The real work of leadership is the courage to ask the questions that bring those cracks into the light.

And the data backs this up. In our most recent State of Trust Report, 41% of people working in what should be strongholds of trust reported that, in reality, they were functioning more like a “jungle” — where trust is fractured and survival feels like the norm. Even in organizations that appear healthy on the surface, people often carry unspoken doubt, fear, and mistrust. That’s why asking the right questions matters so much.

There are three questions every leader should keep asking, and I will explain why they matter.

Do You Trust Me?

It’s a vulnerable question, and that’s the point. Too often, leaders assume trust is intact simply because no one has said otherwise. But silence is not the same as trust.

At the same time, leaders need to recognize how difficult this question can be for others to answer honestly. Power changes the equation. People may hesitate to express what they truly feel because they fear the consequences.

That’s why the way you follow up matters. When a leader adds, “I really want to understand and increase your trust in me. To get there, I need to see you more clearly so I can begin the process of change,” it changes the posture of the conversation. It signals humility. It communicates that this isn’t about defensiveness or control, but about a genuine desire to grow.

Where Have I Let You Down?

Every leader will fail someone at some point. The question is not if but where. By naming that reality out loud, leaders create space for truth to emerge without fear of retribution.

But again, the power dynamic matters. It’s not easy for someone to look at a leader — especially one who holds authority over their livelihood or opportunities — and point out failure. Unless the leader makes it unmistakably clear that honesty is safe, most people will stay quiet.

That’s why it’s critical to follow this question with reassurance: “I know I fall short, and I’m asking because I want to see the gap clearly so I can own it and make it right.” When leaders say this and mean it, they lower the defenses in the room and make truth-telling possible.

Our data consistently shows that when leaders admit shortcomings, teams respond with greater commitment and trust. Vulnerability, when paired with accountability, is not weakness — it’s the starting point of real credibility.

Are We Healthy?

This is the organizational question. It shifts the focus from the individual leader to the whole body. Healthy teams don’t measure themselves by wishful declarations. They measure by asking together, “Are we healthy?”

But here again, the leader’s power can make this a difficult question to answer honestly. Most people are reluctant to raise concerns if they think it will be received as criticism. That’s why leaders need to frame the question with humility: “I don’t want to assume. I really want to understand how you see our health, because if I don’t see it through your eyes, I can’t help us get better.”

In the State of Trust Report, we saw that organizations that regularly asked and acted on questions like this had significantly higher Net Trust Scores. Their people didn’t just report “feeling good” — they showed greater resilience in conflict, higher collaboration, and more precise alignment with purpose.

Health is not static. It’s not a permanent condition. Just like clay dries, cracks, and needs to be reshaped, trust requires continual attention. When teams regularly ask, “Are we healthy?” they cultivate a culture of ongoing humility — one where performance and people are never separated, and where truth is safe to name.

The Work of Building and Rebuilding

Trust begins with the courage to ask fundamental questions — and to ask them in ways that disarm fear and invite truth. Questions that don’t just check a box, but create space for brokenness to come out and be worked and reworked.

That’s why I wrote Whole Leaders, WiLD Trust. Because we are broken, sometimes even lost in the jungle, but we can be rebuilt. And the rebuilding is the work of leadership.

The leaders who will shape the future are not the ones who declare, “We’ve arrived.” They are the ones who keep asking, listening, confessing, and rebuilding. Not once, but over and over again.

Dr. Rob McKenna is the CEO and Founder of WiLD Leaders, Inc. Named one of the top 30 industrial-organizational psychologists alive today, Dr. McKenna is passionate about developing whole leaders, increasing performance and well-being, and creating and sustaining trust.

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