Mentoring to Thrive

Jesus shows us seven key approaches of a mentor.

Leadership, in all its forms, can feel like you’re on an island. That’s why what we need most as leaders is not to be managed – but mentored. Management has its place in any healthy organizational structure. But if we truly want to thrive as Christian leaders, and lead others into thriving lives and ministries, then mentorship is essential.

Mentors don’t just shape what you do – they shape who you become.

Every leader, including you, needs someone to process new ideas with, to teach you the ropes, to cheer you on and challenge you. Mentors don’t just shape what you do – they shape who you become. Their impact multiplies long after they’re gone.

An Empty Tool Belt

When I entered my first year as a science schoolteacher at a suburban Denver public school, the various districts gathered several hundred other new teachers and I for training. I soon discovered our trainers were former teachers, most of whom had been out of the classroom for many years. And they were going to talk – not with us, but at us – for hours. We incoming teachers also took a test that provided us with a multitude of data points, but no one took the time to explain what the results meant about me or my role as a teacher.

I realize a lot has changed in the school systems since I was an educator, but back then, I walked into my first classroom, on my first day, blind. I didn’t have a single tool in my teaching tool belt to do my job well. And I concluded that if I needed to be mentored as a new teacher, my training was not going to cut it. That’s why God sent me Rick.

An Ideal Mentor

Rick’s classroom was right next to mine, and I studied his teaching style, looking for ways to learn the ropes of running a classroom. I watched carefully as he’d set up his lessons, combining a variety of activities to reach the varied learning styles of his students. And I watched Rick build rapport with the students in his classroom. He mastered the art of connecting with the students, learning what motivated them, taking a vested interest in their lives outside of school.

Rick’s example taught me more than any training could have.

Rick’s example taught me more than any training could have. He was my real-world, real-time example of a teacher making a difference in the lives of their students. Eventually, I shifted from an intentional observer of Rick’s methods to a curious question asker. I started asking Rick all my teacher questions, and over time he unofficially became my mentor.

I must have asked Rick questions for months, and each day he was patient, caring and funny. Best of all, he knew how to downplay my roughest days as a new teacher. Rick knew how to encourage me but also how to push me into growth. He could tell it to me straight, but I always knew he meant his feedback in love. His goal was my success.

Isolation coupled with a new leader who’s underprepared could have been my pathway to burnout as a new teacher, but I stayed in the classroom as long as I did because of Rick. He was the ideal mentor, one who could effectively balance giving me critical feedback as well as providing the nurturing and encouragement that I needed to invest in the lives of young leaders for years to come.

Mentoring by Modeling 

That same year I began coaching at a high school in the district. The head coach who hired me took me to breakfast and listened to my heart as I explained why I wanted to become a coach.

He provided me with both mentors and experiences that empowered me to learn and grow in my knowledge and coaching techniques. He allowed me to be a part of every varsity practice so I could see experienced coaches model what effective coaching is and the impact it has on student athletes.

Mentoring to Multiply

In chapter 10 of Matthew’s gospel, we see Jesus preparing his disciples for their first missionary journey. Then, a few chapters later in Matthew, Jesus pulled his disciples aside and told them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matt. 16:24, NRSV)

At first glance, these may not seem like clear mentoring moments, but Jesus, both in how he prepared the disciples and in what he communicated, shows us seven key approaches of a mentor.

Matthew 10: Jesus sends the disciples out to do ministry on their own.

1. Demonstrating the behaviors he wanted them to emulate. Before Jesus commissioned his disciples to do as he had done, he showed them how to do it. Ahead of the commissioning in Matthew 10, Jesus finished several miraculous healings and completed several encounters with people who needed the gospel news. Only after he’d shown the disciples the way did he summon them and give them authority to heal and preach in his name.
2. Giving clear instructions and authority. Great mentors know how to set realistic expectations to prepare their followers for inevitable challenges. Jesus’ directions to the disciples were clear: go to the lost sheep of Israel, proclaim the good news that the kingdom of heaven has come near, cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, and cast out demons. Basically, do everything you’ve seen me do on our journeys together. Jesus even prepared his disciples for how to survive persecution.
3. Offering opportunities to practice. This first missionary journey was a practice mission, giving the disciples opportunities to do something they’d never done before. Jesus is a wise leader. He knew the people following him and watching him needed to move beyond managing the responses of newly healed people and into facilitating ministry themselves. That new phase of ministry would require the mentorship of Jesus.
4. Setting the standard for a job well done. Christ didn’t kick up his feet and take a vacation after sending out his team to multiply his healing and gospel-proclaiming efforts. No, as Matthew 11:1 says, “Now when Jesus had finished instructing his twelve disciples, he went on from there to teach and proclaim his message in their cities.” Jesus didn’t stop mentoring; he continued setting the standard for a job well done.

Matthew 16: Jesus tells his disciples about his coming suffering, death, and resurrection.

5. Explaining what to anticipate. Jesus’ words about “taking up their cross” must have terrified the men and women devoted to following him. But here’s what his approach teaches us about mentoring well: Jesus takes the time to explain what his leaders are going to experience in the future, rather than expecting them to think on their feet or to “pay their dues” when blindsided by challenges.
6. Offering an invitation to follow him. Next, Jesus invites his disciples to follow him to the cross, to lose their life for Christ’s sake. A tall order from a homeless, traveling rabbi.
7. Going first. Despite the high cost, many of those disciples accepted Jesus’s invitation to forfeit their life to enjoy eternal life with Christ. Why? Because Jesus went first.

Jesus prioritized mentorship because he knew the gospel would only thrive through multiplication. First, he invested in the disciples, then they multiplied into others. Just like a single spark can spread like wildfire, the love and lessons of Christ can multiply when leaders commit to mentoring others.

If we want to thrive, and help others thrive, we must lead with a multiplication mindset.

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Lyle Wells is the president of Integrus Leadership, senior pastor of First Baptist Franklin, Texas, an elite executive coach to hundreds of kingdom-minded leaders, and the author of Easy to Follow: Trading Toxic Leadership for the Way of Jesus (NavPress, Oct. 7, 2025). He has been married to Ronda for more than 35 years, and together they love creating spontaneous family fun for their two grown children, Jordie and Michael. Lyle Wells is a member of the Christian Leadership Alliance board.

Learn more about Outcomes magazine.