Danger in the Drift By Paige Whitaker

I didn’t walk away from God, but I did drift.

I don’t think most of us wake up one morning and decide we’re going to drift away from God. At least, I didn’t. There wasn’t one defining moment when I stopped believing or stopped loving Jesus. It was much quieter than that.

Life happened. Hurt happened. Disappointment happened. And somewhere along the way, things I thought I had dealt with began settling into places in my heart I didn’t realize they had reached.

“We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”

Hebrews 2:1

I’ve thought a lot about that word lately: drift. Drifting is subtle. You can still believe. Still go to church. Still pray. Still talk about Jesus. And yet, little by little, your heart can move further from where it once was.

I realized that was happening to me.

Moving On Isn’t Always Forgiveness

There were hurts in my life I genuinely thought I had forgiven, and time had passed. I wasn’t constantly thinking about them. I had moved on. But God started showing me that moving past something and forgiving it aren’t necessarily the same thing. In some places, I had moved forward while still carrying resentment. And resentment has a way of slowly hardening your heart.

Hebrews 3:13 warns us to encourage one another so that none of us becomes “hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” I began realizing there were things I said I had forgiven that I had just learned to live around.

Confronting the Truth

That’s a hard thing to admit. Especially because forgiveness often runs counter to what the world tells us to do. We are often encouraged to stay angry, walk away, cut people off, or hold tightly to the ways we’ve been wronged.

Sometimes boundaries are necessary. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen, excusing harmful behavior, or automatically restoring trust. But Jesus still calls us to forgive.

And I’m learning that true forgiveness isn’t weakness. It takes incredible strength.

It takes strength to release the anger you’ve carried. To stop replaying the offense. To surrender your desire for someone else to pay for what they did. Paul encourages us,

“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13

That’s challenging because it brings me back to the grace I’ve received myself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying, “What happened was okay.” For me, it’s beginning to mean, “I won’t allow what happened to have authority over my heart anymore.”

God, Soften My Heart

My prayers have changed through this process. Instead of only asking, “God, why did this happen?” I’m learning to ask, “God, what is this doing to my heart?”

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Psalm 51:10

I’ve had to ask God to show me where hurt became resentment and where resentment became hardness. Prayer, studying Scripture, and surrounding myself with Christians who are grounded in God’s Word and led by the Holy Spirit are helping me work through those places. I need people who can listen when I’m hurting but also love me enough to point me back to Jesus.

Slowly, I’m learning to surrender the things I thought I had already let go of.

Talking About Jesus Isn’t the Same as Walking With Jesus

Interestingly, I spend my workdays talking about faith. At 316 Financial, I get to talk about Jesus, generosity, stewardship, ministry partnerships, and Kingdom growth. That’s a gift I don’t take lightly. But God has been teaching me something through that, too: Talking about Kingdom growth and allowing God to grow me are two different things.

I can talk about Jesus every day and still need Him desperately. I can do work intended to further His Kingdom while He quietly does important work in my own heart. Maybe that’s part of Kingdom growth too. Not only what God does through us, but what He does within us.

I’m still learning. I’m still healing. And I’m still figuring out what true forgiveness looks like.

But I’m paying attention again to what I’m holding onto. To what I’m allowing to take root in my heart. To whether I’ve forgiven or stopped talking about what happened. And to whether I’m talking about Jesus or truly walking closely with Him.

Maybe faith doesn’t always look like having everything figured out. Sometimes it looks like realizing you’ve drifted, turning back toward Jesus and praying:

God, soften my heart. Help me forgive. And draw me close to You again.

Paige Whitaker is the Brand Growth & Partnerships Manager at 316 Financial, where she leads partnership development, brand growth, and initiatives that connect financial services with faith-driven organizations and communities. She is passionate about building meaningful relationships and creating opportunities for businesses and ministries to work together for greater Kingdom impact.