Is it time to Unfollow a Follower? By Dr. Teresa Moon

Learn to Assess When to Let A Follower Go

What should we, as leaders, do when our followers are simply not flourishing on our team? In an earlier post, we explored what it means to nurture your team into “Flourishing Followers.” The truth is, someone on your team may not be a fit.

An Important Insight

One of my team members – who had just had her first baby – shared this with me:

“In a lot of ways, new mothers today are blessed with easy access to so many resources and tips. I can go on social media and follow lactation consultants, child psychologists, and speech therapists who share their expertise.

But at the same time, it can be just as harmful as helpful. I’ve been following a really popular baby sleep expert. I know a lot of parents who benefitted from her advice – but I found myself riddled with anxiety when I listened. I felt like if I didn’t follow her methods exactly, my baby would never sleep. I would actually start crying if a nap was too short. 

One day, I just hit “Unfollow.” And in retrospect? I realized my baby never even had trouble with sleep. That influencer just made me anxious about something that could happen, but wasn’t – my baby was doing just fine without it! “

A Reality to Embrace

Leaders, there’s a truth that can be both difficult to accept and highly liberating: there are some people who will never flourish by following you.

Regardless of our efforts to support our team members’ success as they follow our lead, some individuals may not be a good fit for our teams, services, or organization. They won’t flourish here – despite our best efforts.

Responding to Reality

That’s a challenging concept to grasp, especially for those of us who believe we are making a positive impact in the world, when we see transformation happening in our communities/ We hear the testimonies of changed lives.

Not everyone will learn from us, grow with us, join us, or even like us. We need to get OK with that. Even among those who do know, develop, and participate for a season, many leave before we think it’s time. We believe there’s more to learn, more growth, and more opportunity for improvement. 

Here’s what’s difficult. In the truest sense, people don’t follow organizations; they follow leaders. They follow people. And they don’t unfollow organizations. They unfollow people. 

Letting Go

So, what if we stopped taking it so personally? What if we could recognize we’re not for everyone? What if we began telling people, ‘This may not be for you’? Perhaps that’s the most caring thing we can offer them.

Here’s another truth: it may be best for someone to stop following you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth following.

It has nothing to do with your worth and success as a leader. That Instagram sleep expert built a large following because she had tips that helped many new parents – but my friend wasn’t a fit for her following. She didn’t need the advice, and following that person may have been taking up space in her life that was better occupied by following someone else.

Take A Follower Inventory

It is good to ask these questions. They will make your next steps clear.

• Who are you following that it’s time to unfollow?
• Who have you been trying to convince to follow you, or to follow with you, that you need to release?
• What could you do with the energy you’re spending on trying to follow (or lead) where it’s not working? 

Dr. Teresa Moon is the founding President and CEO of the Institute for Cultural Communicators. She designs state-of-the-art digital immersive learning environments and in-person experiences that train students, teachers, and parents worldwide to become “cultural communicators” who can impact culture through relevant communication and extraordinary leadership.

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