The 10-Second Reconcilliation By Chris McDaniel

Take 10 Seconds to Restore a Broken Relationship.

Reconciliation often feels complicated, emotional, and risky—but sometimes it only takes ten seconds to change everything.

Many Christian leaders carry the quiet weight of broken relationships. A family member. A former colleague. A board member. A friend. Time passes, positions harden, and silence begins to feel permanent. We tell ourselves it’s too awkward, too late, or too unclear how to begin.

Yet reconciliation rarely begins with clarity. It starts with courage.

Why We Wait—and Why It Costs Us

Leadership does not make us immune to pride; it often amplifies it. We may convince ourselves we are being patient, discerning, or “waiting on the Lord,” when in reality we are waiting for the other person to move first.

I lived in that space for eight years.

There was an extended season when I had no communication or presence in my parents’ lives. I told myself I was waiting for them to be ready—for the Lord to make it unmistakably clear—or for them to care enough to make the call themselves. I hoped they would realize what is now lost and reach out.

That moment never came.

One morning, after my devotional and prayer time, the Lord made it uncomfortably clear: You need to make the call. I argued, of course. I rehearsed reasons, timing concerns, and past hurts. But obedience eventually outweighed justification.

When I called, it started rough. There was tension—and even some yelling. But when I spoke words of humility and reconciliation, walls began to fall. That conversation marked a turning point. From that day forward, our relationship was restored, and today it is thriving.

Waiting had delayed healing. Obedience unlocked it.

The Ten-Second Approach

Reconciliation does not require a perfectly scripted conversation. It requires one intentional act.

If the person is far away, make the call.
If they are nearby, visit.

In the first ten seconds, say this—slowly and sincerely: “I am sorry and apologize for my part in this. I want to reconcile because I need you in my life. You matter to me, and I don’t want time to slip by anymore.”

That’s it.

No defense, explanations, or revisiting every detail of the past. Just humility, ownership, and invitation.

Those words often open a floodgate—not because they solve everything, but because they disarm the fear and pride that keep people apart.

When the Door Does Not Open

It is essential to acknowledge that not every attempt at reconciliation is met with humility or desire from the other person.

Some readers have already made the call. They have extended apologies, owned their part, and reached out more than once—only to be met with silence, resistance, or hardened hearts. In those situations, this message is not a burden you are meant to carry again.

Reconciliation requires two willing hearts. When humility is not reciprocated—especially after sincere, repeated efforts—it is both wise and faithful to wait. Waiting in this case is not avoidance; it is discernment. It honors boundaries, protects emotional health, and leaves space for God to work in the other person’s time.

Scripture calls us to pursue peace as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). There comes a point where obedience has been fulfilled, and the next faithful step is patient prayer rather than continued pursuit.

Why This Works When It Is Time

When reconciliation is timely and mutual, apologies fail only when they are partial, conditional, or defensive. This approach works because it:

• Takes responsibility without assigning blame
• Affirms the value of the relationship
• Acknowledges urgency without pressure

Leaders often underestimate how deeply others long for reconciliation, even when they appear distant or hardened. A genuine apology communicates safety—and safety is the soil where healing grows.

You cannot control the response. But you are responsible for the reach.

Reconciliation Is Leadership Stewardship

Christian leadership is not only about vision, strategy, or outcomes. It is about stewarding relationships—starting with our own.

Unreconciled relationships quietly drain emotional energy, distort decision-making, and undermine our witness. Leaders who model humility and restoration create cultures of grace, trust, and courage.

Sometimes the most strategic leadership decision you can make is not another meeting or plan—but ten seconds of obedience.

And sometimes, faithfulness looks like reaching out.
Other times, it looks like waiting in peace.

Both can be acts of mature, Christ-centered leadership.

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Chris McDaniel serves as Chief Revenue Officer at vTECH io, a technology and AI solutions company that also equips churches and nonprofits with secure, scalable systems. He is passionate about helping Christian leaders model generosity and restore impact in their communities. Connect with Chris on LinkedIn.

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