Putting Those Queggestions Away By Dr. Mark L. Vincent
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The word queggestion is made up, combining the words question and suggestion.
Queggestion describes a suggestion made as a question. Here is an example.
“Why don’t you try getting up earlier?” The person asking this isn’t really asking. They are indirectly stating their expectation.
In addition to “why don’t you…” here are other queggestion starters we can easily recognize once we know where to look.
“What if you…”
“Don’t you think that…”
“Haven’t you….” (“Why haven’t you” is similar but with more judgment built-in)
“Have you tried….”
“Don’t you want to….”
“Isn’t it possible to….”
Perhaps you will think of others. In each case, the person queggestioning may intend to be helpful, but they short-circuit the learning process of the person they ask. That person must stop their creative problem-solving to consider the suggestion hidden in the question.
A sincere, open-ended inquiry that sparks joint consideration is an essential skill for leaders to build, especially if they want to develop other leaders who will be evaluated for their critical thinking skills. If we try to lead by queggestions, we delay their development and ownership of any resulting wins or losses.
Reframing for Clarity
| Rather than ask: | We do better by asking: |
|---|---|
| Can’t you hire another employee to cover this? | When and how do you make decisions to add staff? (Follow-up: Is your approach doing everything you need it to do?) |
| Why haven’t you already made the investment/the donation? | You said you were going to invest/give. What’s holding you back right now? |
| Don’t you want to take advantage of the benefits? | Which benefits appeal most, and which are you most likely to use? |
| What if you sat down with them to work through the conflict? | What have you already tried to do in addressing the conflict? |
| When will you put together a strategy session? | Some folks hold strategy sessions for matters like this. What is your experience with them? |
| Couldn’t you adjust the budget to accommodate this? | What are the financial implications? |
| Aren’t you going to talk with your coworkers about this and get their advice? | Who is best equipped to advise you here? |
| Is it possible to get some training for this? | What would you like to do? |
| Have you looked at XYZ software? They likely have everything that you need. | You seem to think this is a tech issue. What’s your next step? |
| Can I show you my preferred solution? | How would you like to solve this? |
Mark L. Vincent, PhD, CCNL, EPC, is an Executive Advisor and founding member of the Sage Group Collective. He co-facilitates the most recent Maestro-level Leaders Cohort with Andrew Stern and in partnership with the Christian Leadership Alliance. His most recent book, The Maestro Effect, details the Maestro-level Leaders approach.
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