The Marriage Test By Chris McDaniel

Every Steward Leader Must Pass the Marriage Test

Stewarding your marriage is the first and most important test. It is one every steward leader must pass. Steward Leaders Rise begins with a heart awakening because everything in leadership flows from the condition of our hearts. The most revealing and often overlooked test of that heart is not found in the boardroom or the budget. It is found in our marriages.

Over thirty-four years — three years of dating and thirty-one years of marriage — I have remained faithful to my bride, Jennifer. By God’s grace alone, there has been no emotional or physical affair. I share this not as a boast, but as quiet evidence of daily surrender. I made a deliberate choice to treat our marriage as the first and most sacred trust God had given me. That decision has guarded our covenant and shaped every other area of my leadership and stewardship.

The Danger of Pretending

The story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5:1–11 serves as a sobering warning. They didn’t fall because they withheld some money. It happened because they loved the appearance of generosity more than the reality of obedience. The same temptation exists in marriage. It is possible to project an image in public while withholding full honesty, affection, or faithfulness at home. God sees both. Our spouses see both. And our children see both.

True stewardship begins with authenticity. If we cannot be fully surrendered in the most intimate relationship God has given us, how can we call others to radical generosity and integrity in their ministries?

Offering Your Marriage as a Living Sacrifice

Romans 12:1 calls us to offer our bodies — our eyes, our minds, our affections. That is our living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is our true and proper worship. For the steward leader, this surrender must first be applied to marriage. When we choose faithfulness day after day, especially in seasons of pressure or temptation, we are transformed.

This is not about perfection. It is about honest, ongoing surrender. We must give ourselves first to the Lord in our marriage. Then generosity and integrity begin to flow more freely into every other sphere of leadership.

Passing the Torch Through Faithful Modeling

Jennifer and I have sought to model this faithfulness openly for our children. The next generation is not just watching how we lead, but also how we love and honor our spouses. As we wrote in Steward Leaders Rise, our children are our true legacy. The foundation we build is not primarily wealth or reputation. It is the visible testimony of a covenant-keeping marriage surrendered to Christ.

Leaders, your marriage is not a distraction from your calling. It is the first and most important place your calling must be lived out with excellence.

Will you lead by your own good example? The rise of steward leaders truly begins at home.

Reflection Questions

1. Where might I be tempted to “pretend” strength in public while withholding full surrender in my marriage?
2. What would it look like for me to offer my marriage more fully as a living sacrifice?
3. Who is watching my marriage — my children, my team, my mentees — and what testimony am I currently giving them?

Chris McDaniel serves as Chief Revenue Officer at vTECH io, a technology and AI solutions. His company equips churches and nonprofits with secure, scalable systems. He is passionate about helping Christian leaders model generosity and restore their communities’ impact. His latest book, Steward Leaders Rise, will challenge you personally to pursue internal transformation. You’ll understand how it impacts the people and teams you lead. Connect with Chris on LinkedIn.