Winning Goals – Part Two By Dr. Daniel Hallak
The Heart of Winning Goals – Part Two
Decades of research tells us that that goals are a powerful motivational force for winning. The deeper challenge is how to set the right goals and orient our hearts to put effort toward the things that matter most. When we set goals and take action, we need to connect the purpose behind them otherwise we run the risk of succeeding at the things of little importance at best or succeeding in ways that bring unintended consequences with larger ramifications for ourselves and the people around us. For the sake of what are we setting a goal? For the sake of whom? These are the types of questions that can help guide us to calibrate our hearts and focus our efforts in the right direction so winning follows.
How do you know if you’re going in the right direction?
How do you know if your desires and goals are rightly aligned? How do you know if you love the wrong things too much? Ultimately, you can test the direction of your heart and the goodness of your objectives by the drawing the line of sight between your goals and human flourishing—yours and other peoples. If your heart loves the wrong things they will eventually harm you and corrode or break relationships with other people.
Replace your desires instead of unlearning them!
So, what if you love the wrong things? How do you love the best things so that they get your attention, affection, and energy? You replace them with a greater love. Humans aren’t wired to unlearn something. Trying to stop focusing on something never achieves the desired result. Try it. Don’t think about pink elephants flying around. Serious, stop thinking about pink elephants. You’re welcome. Now tell a child to try as hard as possible not to press a button or not to eat a cookie. Stand back, watch and wait. Working to avoid it only causes them to fixate harder.
We can’t just stop focusing on something and we can’t just stop loving something. We need to find something else to focus on, something that we desire more. This is one potential explanation for why people who engage in volunteering and community service experience multiple mental and physical health benefits as well as an increased sense of purpose. Connecting with and serving others and engaging in relationships can help replace our natural inward bent. A person struggling with depression who is focusing on other people instead of their symptoms doesn’t have the time or space in that moment to fixate on their struggles. We don’t undo things, we can’t undo things. But we can replace them over time with the power of a new desire.
Where do you have energy?
Start with heart and consider what you really love before you set any goals. Pause to evaluate your motives and be honest about your true loves. Focus on your loves and consider which ones can help people grow and flourish. Then harness the power of those deep loves as you start to build your goals. Greco-Roman wrestlers and Jiu-Jitsu practitioners learn early on that one of the best ways to sustain energy is to leverage the drive of their opponent. When pushed, they pull. When pulled, they push, accelerating their power toward the winning pin or submission. If you already have momentum you’re a lot more likely to keep pursuing your goals. A goal isn’t worth pursuing if you if you don’t care a about it. Winning goals already have energy or commitment for you to harness.
Dr. Daniel Hallak is the CCO of WiLD Leaders Inc. a firm focused on whole and intentional leader development through the WiLD Toolkit, a scalable platform of 10 sequential assessment tools and personalized feedback reports that provide comprehensive and intentional development plans. He is also adjunct faculty at Seattle Pacific University in Industrial/Organizational Psychology and Business.
What are you waiting for…the clock is ticking and the early registration deadline is right around the corner. You only have between now and January 31, 2019. Come and learn directly from Dr. Daniel Hallak and Dr. Rob McKenna as they team up for an exciting leadership workshop – day one of the conference!
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