Defiant Gratitude: Trusting God’s Provision By Andrea Leigh Capuyan

Find Gratitude When Leadership Feels Scarce

Leadership can feel like a relentless treadmill of demands. Decisions pile up faster than we can make them. We juggle not just resources but expectations, not just today’s crisis but tomorrow’s uncertainty as well. In the crush of responsibility, anxiety becomes our constant companion. We compare ourselves to other leaders and wonder why our path feels so much harder. We count what we don’t have: enough time, enough money, enough energy. ENOUGH. And beneath it all lurks a fear we rarely name aloud. Has God forgotten us? Has He left us to figure this out alone, to manufacture provision from our own cleverness and determination?

In this context, gratitude can feel like a luxury we can’t afford, something we’ll get to once the crisis passes, once resources stabilize, once we finally feel like we have enough. But what if gratitude isn’t the reward for abundance? What if it’s the pathway to recognizing the abundance that’s already present? Gratitude in the midst of scarcity is not foolishness; rather, it is courage, an act of defiance against the lies that tell us we’ve been abandoned. Choosing thanksgiving when circumstances scream otherwise is the most revolutionary leadership posture we can take. Trusting God for provision becomes not only an exercise of faith. It becomes an opportunity for transformation and gratitude.

Gratitude Confronts Scarcity

Caught in the daily grind, it is easy to forget that God “owns cattle on a thousand hills.” If forgotten, responsible resource management gives way to obsession and possession. Fear of deprivation can impoverish our thinking. Our decision-making becomes reactive, and we isolate. Hoarding, rather than protecting and overseeing. This flies in the face of our proclaimed dependence on God. It also closes our eyes to gifts already received, blessings we’ve stopped noticing because we’re too consumed with what we lack.

Overcoming Doubt

Sometimes when we doubt God’s provision, it is from a deep-seated fear of abandonment. When we fear there isn’t enough, it is because we fear we are “too much.” We’ve asked God for too much. We are too demanding. He is rejecting us because we exhaust him. This is not true. Our God does not grow weary. We cannot exhaust or overwhelm Him. He is not desperate. Abundant. Everlasting. Overflowing. These words describe God’s Kingdom and His provision for us. When we truly grasp this, that we are invited, welcomed, and wanted at His table, gratitude becomes our natural response.

When we are trapped in a scarcity mindset, imagine how we impede growth in the lives of those we lead and care for. If I believe I am “too much” or “too hard to handle”, then it leads to an organization void of interdependence and reliance. This is because we doubt other people are capable of meeting our needs. We also fail to appreciate the people God has already placed around us, their gifts, their presence, and their willingness to help.

Whether it is a family, a church, or the workplace, all organizations cultivate need. We are created to need help and to need each other. If we believe we are supposed to satisfy our needs alone without assistance, it is a lie, designed to deplete us. The scarcity of supply often lies in our resistance. God’s abundant provision is anchored in the communal experience, our willingness to share and to ask for help. Gratitude opens our hands to both receive help and offer it. Thanksgiving transforms “not enough” into “look how much we have together.”

Gratitude Displaces Competition

In Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son, I often wonder more about the older son than the wayward brother. The parable ends with this son’s refusal to feast. When I read the exchange between this son and father, I see a person caught in competition. He’s reduced his relationship with his father to a simple ‘quid pro quo’. Transactional relationships foster competition and distrust. If I believe my performance or loyalty earns me a place in line, I am always trying to qualify or justify my need. And when we’re busy proving our worth, we have no room for thankfulness; we’re too focused on what we’ve earned rather than what we’ve been given.

Beyond Performance

This prodigal son parable challenges our notions of a transactional God, who doles out His blessings and provisions solely because of one’s allegiance. There is a paradox that, to be honest, confounds me. As God’s steward, I must relinquish all my privileges and demands. I own nothing. At the same time, as a child of God, He declares that all He has is mine, a royal inheritance. Perhaps this is where actual gratitude lives, in the humbling recognition that everything is a gift, nothing is earned. I wonder if this paradox is meant to rid us of a competing spirit and birth in us a grateful one. There is an open, giving exchange He is fostering. Perhaps God longs for us to sit with Him and open up and talk rather than spend our days reciting a thousand pious prayers.

When performance is the cornerstone of our relationships as leaders, we undermine unity and collaboration. If loyalty, especially loyalty to the leadership, is the highest organizational value, then we sow division. We rob our teams of fellowship; we discourage team members from growing together. We also rob them of the joy that comes from celebrating together, from pausing to say “look what God has done through us” rather than “look what I have accomplished.” When competition is the value we pursue, we impede security. Our tolerance for risk and failure diminishes if we fear we must always measure up.

Gratitude Recognizes Protection

When I imagine the banquet table of God’s Kingdom, the verses of Psalm 23 come to my mind:

“You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the LORD
forever.”

God’s provision is His protection. No matter the circumstance, I am secure. I am seen and known by Him. His provision is a reminder of His presence. What humbles and astounds me is that even in the face of enemies, God invites us to abundance. This is not a siege. We are not short-supplied. There’s no need to ration… ‘my cup overflows.’ This overflowing cup is an invitation to gratitude, even, perhaps especially, in our most challenging seasons. When we lift our eyes from our enemies to see the feast before us, thanksgiving becomes an act of defiant trust.

Reflection Questions

1. When you’re under pressure, do you find yourself hoarding resources or sharing them? What does your instinct reveal about whether you truly believe God’s provision is abundant?
2. What are the people, resources, and opportunities that God has given you? What would change if you led from gratitude for these rather than anxiety about what’s missing?
3. If gratitude is defiant trust in God’s provision even when enemies surround you, what act of thanksgiving would most defy your current fears?

In the worst of times, in our seasons of doubt, God still provides. You can never demand more than He can give. His provision is never-ending. He is simply waiting for you to take your seat at His table and receive with a thankful heart what He has prepared. This is the significant reversal of Kingdom leadership: gratitude doesn’t follow provision; it reveals it. Today, right now, in whatever battle you’re facing, the King invites you to sit…to ask what He is up to… to give thanks. Your grateful heart is not naïve optimism; it’s the courage to trust that God’s goodness and unfailing love are still pursuing you.

Andrea Leigh Capuyan serves on the board of the Center for Steward Leader Studies and is the executive director of the LPC. This local ministry helps individuals impacted by unintended pregnancy, reproductive loss, and post-abortion recovery. She also provides coaching and consultation, assisting others to experience abundance as leaders. Andrea is a Credentialed Christian Nonprofit Leader (CCNL) with the Christian Leadership Alliance and holds a Master of Arts degree in Organizational Leadership from York University.